There comes a paradigm-shifting moment in every average youngster's life when they realize that they are simply not cool. For me, that occurred in 5th grade during the Dehesa Elementary School talent show of 1985. The song was Mothers Talk by Tears For Fears.
At that point, I had about five cassettes in my collection: Top Gun Soundtrack, Footloose Soundtrack, The Transformers The Movie Soundtrack and The Police - Zenyatta Mondatta and Synchronicity (the latter two inherited from my father). I fist-pumped and lip-synched in the mirror for hours to songs like Bonnie Tyler's I Need A Hero and Kenny Loggins' Heaven Helps The Man. In my mind, I was the lone rebel waltzing into a school dance, clearing the center of the dancefloor with my awesome moves. The spotlight beamed down on my red Chuck Taylor Converse hi-tops as I moonwalked into glory. I was completely unaware of the fact that most of my peers (and especially the 6th graders) were listening to much cooler music than the stuff I was jamming on my yellow Walkman. My fragile perception of "cool" was about to change.
Enter Misu Murphy and Mike Matusio. These two 6th graders had entered the temple of coolness about mid-way through the school year and the talent show was going to be their opportunity to unleash it upon the entire student body. Before their act, the crowd was vibrating with anticipation. The two coolest 6th grade boys were going to do an act together. When Mrs. Johnson, the principle announced their names, the kids went wild. Murphy and Matusio appeared on both sides of the stage, frozen like Bugle Boys mannequins at the mall. Each was dressed straight out of an episode of Miami Vice - turquoise and white suits with Ray-Ban sunglasses. Kids started murmuring, "Rad." Then everyone hushed as the bombastic intro to the Tears For Fears classic ensued. Symphonic hits, gargantuan drum machines and an adrenalized synthesizer riff. What the hell was this music? I'd never heard anything so frenetic and modern before. Next, Murphy stepped to the mic and began mocking the lyrics.
"My features form with a change in the weather
Weekend!"
Matusio stepped forward like a robot and responded,
"We can work it out"
I'd never seen a lip-sync performance before, so I thought they were actually singing the song. In those first seconds I was so confused. How did these guys do something so beyond my comprehension? This destroyed Kenny Loggins bravado. It murdered Sting's sneer. My bedroom mirror was shattered. Suddenly, everything I knew about music was relegated to ancient history. Murphy and Matusio were time travelers, opening a futuristic Pandora's Box that melted our elementary minds.
From that moment on, I've never perceived music the same.
At that point, I had about five cassettes in my collection: Top Gun Soundtrack, Footloose Soundtrack, The Transformers The Movie Soundtrack and The Police - Zenyatta Mondatta and Synchronicity (the latter two inherited from my father). I fist-pumped and lip-synched in the mirror for hours to songs like Bonnie Tyler's I Need A Hero and Kenny Loggins' Heaven Helps The Man. In my mind, I was the lone rebel waltzing into a school dance, clearing the center of the dancefloor with my awesome moves. The spotlight beamed down on my red Chuck Taylor Converse hi-tops as I moonwalked into glory. I was completely unaware of the fact that most of my peers (and especially the 6th graders) were listening to much cooler music than the stuff I was jamming on my yellow Walkman. My fragile perception of "cool" was about to change.
 |
| Crockett & Tubbs '85. |
"My features form with a change in the weather
Weekend!"
Matusio stepped forward like a robot and responded,
"We can work it out"
I'd never seen a lip-sync performance before, so I thought they were actually singing the song. In those first seconds I was so confused. How did these guys do something so beyond my comprehension? This destroyed Kenny Loggins bravado. It murdered Sting's sneer. My bedroom mirror was shattered. Suddenly, everything I knew about music was relegated to ancient history. Murphy and Matusio were time travelers, opening a futuristic Pandora's Box that melted our elementary minds.
From that moment on, I've never perceived music the same.
Comments
Post a Comment